Monday, November 21, 2011

Things I Learned About Lateral Relationships

Today was a tough day for me. I won't get into all the specifics, but I will say it involved many of my favorite things to loathe: apologies, ending friendships, rushing. Of course you all know there are many other things I loathe, so I'll just stop it there. (So many layers...hahaha)

Anyway, in experiencing these growing pains head on, there were quite a few lessons to be learned today. Fortunately for me, I'm learning them all:

  1. Being ashamed of yourself is pointless. I've wasted too much of a lifetime on shame. As much as I hate to admit it, I gave much too much weight to what other people cared about me/my image. It has gotten me into a world of trouble and caused a lifetime of hurt. I decided today, I'm done.
  2. There is only one me. I have been fortunate to have had my fair share of subordinates over the years. Add that to my children, other family and friends, and that adds up to a lot of people. I don't have to compare them to me, nor do I have to try to make them more like me. I'm unique (uniquely awesome) and there will never be another me. I've accepted it. You have to too.
  3. I love my friends to no end, because that's how they love me. I've been blessed to have amazing friends! Needy? Sometimes. But there for me with open arms and no judgment? Absolutely. That's why we have to be careful who we call our friends. Ask yourself if you could be accused of murder (hypothetically) and they'd still be with you. If the answer is no, you're probably not friends.
  4. No matter who you are and how much good you do, someone will always be disappointed in you. See points 1 and 2. That's just how life goes. That's why you have to make a decision to make yourself happy and no one else. Those who are with you will be with you regardless. Those who aren't will be left behind. And, after all, isn't that what attracted them to you anyway - your ability to be comfortable in your own skin.
  5. If you're wondering if you should apologize, you probably should. You don't have to say you're sorry - especially if you meant what you said or are not sorry - but if your approach could have been better or more timely, make mention of that. It goes a long way to preserving your relationship. 

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